Part 10
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This is my absolute favourite chapter.
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But he might still be able to say a thing of two, long after he's been stuffed in a coffin and put away.
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I'm sorry, Wizbone? Scuba, Coolbou, Ivory, and now Wizbone. These names make me want to punch walls.
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Not to be confused with that damned Castle of the Accursed. I take cheap jokes gladly and with pride.
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Pretty cocky, aren't we?
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And so she goes to sleep in an empty coffin.
No. She does not. I may be a bloodthirsty monster, but I'm still a gentleman. I will build her a room.
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New room type unlocked!
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Fiana's room has easy access to the front door, with ample trap space in the hall.
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Uh... Fiana, honey? That's a wall. You have to walk through a door to leave a room.
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If you are named Wizbone I will find you and kill you and you will thank me for it.
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Oh shit I'd better go save Fiana!
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... after this episode. I just love Tootie.
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That was great, now to grab Fiana and... Oh crap.
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WHO ARE YOU! WHERE'S FIANA!
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WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE BOMB!
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Oh god damn it.
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You'll be joining her, you big jerk.
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Mine now!
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Oh right, the girlfriend. Better go see if she's okay.
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Fiana?
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Aw, man. She's bleeding all over my floor.
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I'm right here. You can't see me because your facing the ground.
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FIANAAAAAAAAAA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! WHYYYYYY?! DAMN YOU TOOTIE!
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I want my girl back, even if it's as a soulless parody of human life.
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Hooray! Fiana is now with me forever. As a monster. I could have saved her life if I killed Wizbone in under 8 minutes, but then I wouldn't have this happy little minion.
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I'll elaborate more on monsters later on, but for now we can just enjoy the fact that for 4 black orbs, I can summon Fiana to attack an invader at any time I want.
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Like so. Remember kids, the best way to show a woman you love her is to reanimate her corpse as a soldier in your army of the damned.